Kittysan
by Dr. Mwaahaha
Summary: Take your daily dose of humor. What if Tsuzuki and Hisoka were turned into cats?
1. Default Chapter

Kitty-san Part 1  
  
Prescribed by Dr. Mwaahaha  
  
Here is your daily dose of shounen/ai. Tsuzuki/Hisoka.  
  
"Ah! So 5 kids have already disappeared?" Tsuzuki asked. Tatsumi had just explained their next assignment to them. Five kids had disappeared within a week, and they all had one thing in common: a haunted house.  
  
Victims were as listed: Asako Takeuchi, 14; Akira Matsushita, 13; Nagako Koide, 17; Mariko Ookawa, 11; Komori Genjiro, 16;  
  
"The children all live in the same area. Apparently, the haunted house is a popular place for kids to spend the night," Tatsumi turned the page. "According to their parents, the kids were dared to spend a night alone in the house, but they never came back. The last person, Komori Genjiro, disappeared yesterday," He concluded.  
  
Tatsumi pushed his glasses up. He suddenly got a dark look on his face, "Tsuzuki. If you recklessly waste your money again be sure that I WILL KILL YOU."  
  
He smiled kindly, "Kurosaki-kun, I leave this mission up to you. Please find what is causing the disappearances."  
  
"Of course. My lazy partner here and I will be sure to solve the case," Hisoka assured Tatsumi.  
  
"Naaaaahhh~ Hisoka, you're so mean," Tsuzuki puppy wails.  
  
"Do you best, Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi pleaded.  
  
  
  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka walked towards the haunted house. Tsuzuki stretched as he walked.  
  
"Naaaaah, Tatsumi is so cheap. At least this time we have a nice tub to bathe in," Tsuzuki nagged to Hisoka. A puppy Tsuzuki poked Hisoka, "Want to take a bath with me? I'll even wash your back for you!"  
  
"I still haven't changed my position about bathing alone you know," Hisoka told him. He was used to Tsuzuki's harmless flirtations. Although, recently, they had slightly stepped up a notch. Hisoka had felt a feeling from Tsuzuki that he couldn't, didn't, want to identify.  
  
"Ooo. We're here," Tsuzuki stopped. The house looked like your typical haunted house. Old, dark, spooky, all it needed was a cat.  
  
However, there was something off that neither of them could put their finger on. It wasn't the fact that many kids had disappeared, or the fact that it looked scary. No, it was a nagging feeling that they had.  
  
They looked at each other. As much as they didn't want to go in, it was their job to explore the house. Walking up to the house, the night seemed to get darker. The air grew heavier, and seemed to press down around them.  
  
Hisoka touched the door, and it swung open. Hisoka moved to go in, but froze in mid-motion, something was really wrong. Tsuzuki also felt the shift in the energy around them. Alarm bells in his head went off.  
  
"No! Don't go in!" Tsuzuki moved to stop Hisoka from going in. Unfortunately, Tsuzuki moved too fast and succeeded only in knocking Hisoka over.  
  
Into the house.  
  
::insert big poof::  
  
Tsuzuki felt cloth around him. There was something even weirder than that though. Something.  
  
He stumbled out of the cloth that surrounded him. Wow, I can see in the dark! he thought.  
  
"Hisoka? Are you okay?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly.  
  
"You.... IDIOT!!!!!!!!!" Hisoka yelled. Tsuzuki turned to look in the direction of the voice.  
  
"Hisoka, you're all ri-," Tsuzuki froze in mid sentence.  
  
Looking at him was not his beautiful, human partner. Looking at him was a blonde, green eyed cat.  
  
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(Mojo jojo voice) Mindless Chattah.  
  
This is my fanfic. Only one shall be the owner of the fanfic, and one is me, and only me!!!! Disclaimer: However, Yami no Matsuei is owned by Yohko Matsushita and Hana To Yume. But, mostly Matsushita-sensei, because she created them.  
  
Mwaahaaahaa haa haa! I am evil, sadistic. Not like Muraki, though. But yes! I have turned them into Cats! I will put up more doses of shounen ai later on. But for now, I shall retire to my lab. Mwee hee hee hee hee. -Dr. Mwaahaha 


	2. Kittysan 2

Kitty-san Part 1  
  
Prescribed by Dr. Mwaahaha  
  
Daily dosage of humor and shounen-ai. (Tsuzuki/Hisoka)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You.... IDIOT!!!!!!!!!" Hisoka yelled. I turn to look in the direction of the voice.  
  
"Hisoka, you're all ri-," I freeze in mid sentence.  
  
I was not looking at my beautiful human partner. No, looking back at me was a blonde, green eyed cat.  
  
I looked down at myself and saw only dark black fur. I'm a cat too. What the hell? A spell? This is probably what happened to all of those kids. There was only one question left, why? If someone was strong enough to create a spell to change even a shinigami, they must be skilled indeed. He/She might even be nearby.  
  
"Hisoka! Is anybody nearby?" I ask my quivering partner. "Are. are you sure you're okay?"  
  
Hisoka sends me a seething look. Oh. I guess he was shaking with anger.  
  
"Trust me, Hisoka. This is important," I ask him seriously. Hisoka calms down a little at my tone. I feel him focusing and searching for any other people that might be nearby.  
  
"No. There's no one around here except for us," Hisoka reported. "Do you think whoever caused this is still nearby?"  
  
"Yes, and I believe that the kids that disappeared are wandering around as cats right now," I tell him.  
  
"But why would someone turn people into cats?" Hisoka asked me.  
  
"I'm not sure." I ponder. We're not going to get any further tonight, especially as cats. We needed to go back and report back.  
  
"Maybe a cat lover?" Hisoka suggested.  
  
I circle Hisoka. He really was cute as a cat. Bright green eyes were even more noticeable among the golden hair. And had Hisoka always looked this athletic?  
  
"What are you doing?" Hisoka asked?  
  
"You're so Kawaii!!!! Your cute little pink nose, and cute little paws!!!!" I exclaim as I jump toward him.  
  
Hisoka quickly leaped onto a table.  
  
"Ha! This cat form might be useful for something," Hisoka said. I materialize next to him.  
  
"Hey! A mirror!" I say. Hmmm, I'm not that bad looking myself. Looking back at me is a coal black cat with wide purple eyes. Even in my cat form, I'm taller than Hisoka. I lick my paw while looking in the mirror. I tilt my head to one side, looking innocent. Cute, cute.  
  
"Are you done looking at yourself?" Hisoka asked.  
  
"Don't I look so-" I stop. My ears prick up. I look behind us. My amazing cat eyes pick up movement in the corner of the room. Whatever it was, was hidden behind a grandfather clock.  
  
I can tell that Hisoka saw it as well. I signal for us to turn invisible. Stealthily, we jump down from the table, and stalk toward the clock. We become visible, and peek behind the clock.  
  
"Mweeeooowwww!!!" A cat jumps out from behind the clock. It tries to escape, but both me and Hisoka pounce on it.  
  
"No! No! Don't make me go to the cat show!" he yelled.  
  
"Calm down! We're not going to take you to a .er.cat show!" I tell him. He stops struggling.  
  
A beautiful Siamese cat looks up at us. He is still panting hard, and looks at us questioningly.  
  
"You can talk. So you got turned into cats too?" he asks us.  
  
"Yes, do you know who's doing this?" Hisoka asks him. He looks panicked.  
  
"Oh my God," if he were human, I would say that he paled. "He's coming here right now!!!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mindless Chattah  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is owned by Yohko Matsushita and Hana To Yume. But, mostly Matsushita-sensei, because she created them.  
  
This fanfic belongs to me, and only to me. If you try to attempt to copy any part of this fanfic, I shall run after you with a needle. This shall be done while laughing my head off sadistically. 0_0 So don't copy.  
  
If you want to post this up anywhere, just let me know. Well, I shall continue this concoction later. Ja!  
  
-Dr. Mwaahaha 


	3. Still cats, what to do?

Kitty-san Part 2  
  
Prescribed by Dr. Mwaahaha  
  
Here is your dose of humor.  
  
"Oh my God. He's coming here right now!" He yelled.  
  
"Tsuzuki," I look at him. We have to go back right now, and take this cat.er, boy with us. Tsuzuki nods, he understood what I meant. We jump next to the cat, um, boy, ready to transport back to Meifu.  
  
"What the fu-," the boy starts. We hear the door suddenly swing open in the next room.  
  
"Kitty-san," a man calls out as one would call out to a child. "Don't run away. I'm not going to hurt you. Just be a good little kitty and come win a prize for Daddy!"  
  
I decided that now would be good to go back.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"MwaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaHaaaaa!!!!!!" Watari and Konoe burst out laughing. Tatsumi just stands there trying not to laugh.  
  
I stiffen, and try to keep my anger inside. I know very well that there must be several knots on my head. "Sh- Shut up!" I yell. I know I look ridiculous, but it wasn't my fault I was stuck as a feline!  
  
"But.Haaahaahaa.Bon .you're so cute.as a kitty!" Watari explained to me between breaths.  
  
I decide that I've had enough, and I step outside the office. Tsuzuki and Komori-san, the cat, follow me outside.  
  
Inside the office, laughter could still be heard. It is even louder now, I guess Tatsumi joined in now.  
  
I rub my temples with my.paws.  
  
"So this is Meifu?" Komori asked in awe. He was allowed to stay here so that he would be safe. Komori walked over toward the window and looked outside excitedly.  
  
"Komori. What happened to the rest of the children? Did they all turn into cats as well?" I ask.  
  
"Yes," he looks sad.  
  
"Who's doing this and why?" Tsuzuki asks.  
  
"His name is Setsuo Kurokawa. He breeds cats, and then takes them to cat shows. I don't think that he knows too much about spells, but is very very good with curses. Well, Setsuo recently lost at a cat show. Apparently, he has never lost, and is raving mad. His opponent entered a contest, and Setsuo is determined to beat him. Determined to get the perfect cat, he set up a spell around the old house. Then, he told me and some other kids that he would give us 500 dollars if we spent the night in the house. What he really wanted, though, was to turn us into cats forever," Komori looks up at them with determination.  
  
"But! You guys have to help us! It's not just me. There's four other kids up there!" Komori's glass blue eyes look at me and Tsuzuki.  
  
"Of course we'll help you!" Tsuzuki looks at me. He's silently telling me to say the same.  
  
"I'll make sure that we all get turned back, don't worry," I walk over to him. Tsuzuki looks a little surprised. What is he dense? We're cats too, if we don't help Komori, then we'll be stuck as cats forever. For a Shinigami, forever is a looooonnnnngggg time.  
  
"Jaa, well I'll go give Tatsumi an update. That is if he has stopped laughing now," Tsuzuki heads toward the office, leaving me alone with Komori.  
  
Komori looks relieved, but I know that he feels incredibly nervous. Does he have to feel this nervous? Did I not just tell him that I'll help him? (sigh), Perhaps I should be more cheerful towards people. Maybe some ice cream would cheer him up.  
  
"How long has it been seen you ate?" I ask him.  
  
"Ummm, I had some breakfast on Friday," Komori tells me meekly. Friday? He hasn't eaten since yesterday morning. Peachy. I look for Gushoushin to tell him that Komori and I would be at my apartment.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Here's a secret that not many of my co workers know about: I can cook. Not only can I cook, but I can cook quite well.  
  
Hey. I was surprised myself. I mean, it wasn't like I cooked much when I was alive, being locked up and all. After I died, I asked Wakaba to teach me, and voila, turns out I am quite a chef at heart.  
  
If I told anyone else, the word would probably spread around fast. It wouldn't be long until Tsuzuki hears about it. Then, hell will break loose. I flinch just thinking about his reaction.  
  
"Are you okay?" Komori asks me.  
  
"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking."  
  
"Thank you for letting me stay here and eat your food. It's really good!" Komori says shyly.  
  
"You're welcome. It would have been way too cruel to have you eat Tsuzuki's food," I tell him lightheartedly.  
  
"It can't be that bad," Komori says. I give him a sad look. The poor boy has never been a victim to that man's cooking. I swear, that guy should be banned from kitchens. Heck, just thinking of Tsuzuki, it's almost like he's really here.  
  
Komori's blushing, and I realize that I'm still staring at him.  
  
"Ummmmm, where should I sleep?" Komori asks me. There is only one bedroom in my apartment.  
  
"Well.We're both cats, and smaller than usual," I start. "I guess we can sleep on my bed."  
  
BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!! The door opens and someone barges in.  
  
"Yoooooooooo!!!!! Hisooooooooookaaaaaaaa!!!" A chibi cat Tsuzuki yells. "Pack up! You and I are going to a cat show!"  
  
All I can think is. What the hell?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mindless Chattah  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is owned by Yohko Matsushita and Hana To Yume. But, mostly to Matsushita-sensei, because she created it.  
  
This fanfic belongs to me, and only to me. If you try to attempt to copy any part of this fanfic, I shall run after you with a needle. This shall be done while laughing my head off sadistically. 0_0 So don't copy.  
  
This one was slightly longer than the other ones. Dr. Mwaahaha would like to take these moments to thank all the reviewers. Thank you my chibi patients. Reviews really do make my day. ^_^  
  
By the way, I am not responsible for any side effects that my stories might cause. Well, my lab calls for me, and I must go! This story just gets better and better, so look for the next chapter, which will hopefully be longer! 0_0 


End file.
